Feeling the Thaw

Spring has officially arrived. Although the weather isn't exactly cooperating to its fullest yet, the snow is gone and the thawing has begun.

I can see it out the window and I can feel it in my being.

Winter is HARD on me.  Ask my hubby.  I was busy enough this winter with many activities not only for myself but for a few of the kids that it went by relatively quickly and so my doldrums did not hit the low point that they have in the past.

But they were definitely there.   My mood gets grey. My face has a hard time making my smile work.  I spend less time praying well or going to the Adoration chapel.  My thoughts are grey as well, which makes me more silent than I usually am.

This is hard on me and those that I love.

It was bad enough at that I actually hired our Caity girl to come and clean house for me.  She worked hard for me getting the house in shape and livable a couple of times a month.  She didn't mind doing it because she was not here to see how fast her work came undone.  I was wallowing and couldn't stand doing it because it felt like no one cared if it got done or not, least of all me.

Throw Lent in there, 40 days in the desert, and life gets a little rough.

However, change is coming. I can feel it!  I actually cleaned the windows today, inside and out.  All the doggy nose prints are gone.  The grime from the dusty road is gone and I can see the sunshine streaming in so invitingly.

I am making a mental list of things that need to be fixed and now that I'm thawing, I can actually see that these tasks are do-able and when the windows can finally be opened, it will be a joy to do them with a warm breeze blowing through house.

Twice already, I've been to the Adoration Chapel by 7 a.m. because it's not dark then anymore.  I wrote in my prayer journal for the first time in a month.  My prayer has become more focused and I can pray for other people more than I pray for myself because I can think about more than ME ME ME now.

We took the kids for frozen yogurt last night, and I wanted to go because, even though it was after 7 p.m. it was not dark.

God is faithful. Spring is here and Easter is right around the corner.  Both awesome reasons to hope!!