In the fourth chapter of St. Matthew's gospel, Jesus says to Peter and Andrew, "Come after Me and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew tells us, "At once they left their nets and followed Him." (Matt 4:18-20)
Focus on the words "at once".
They did not ask why. They did not say, "Hold on and let us finish washing our nets." They did not ask if they should bring a lunch or if they could get a good night's sleep first. They responded "at once".
I, for one, struggle with "at once."
I often tell myself I'll just get this done or that accomplished and then I can do what God is asking of me.
Sometimes we are forced to do what He is asking "at once" but we do it with a bad attitude.
We have been down to two vehicles with four drivers and four schedules for going on 4 months. At first I was patient. We looked at some vehicles, we borrowed a friend's car for a bit, I called on my mom to help more than once.
As time went on, I started getting whinny. It began in my head. "Ugh, I have to jump through all these hoops to make sure I have a way to get where I need to be today.' 'I have to get up too early.' 'I have to get Max an hour early and make him put up with being in his car seat for an hour while I do my thing.'
Soon, my head whining turned to out-loud whining, "I'm so tired of this!"
My sister was on the receiving end of this complaint and she calmly said, "You're offering it all up, right?"
Embarrassed, I answered that no I was not offering it up, I was whining about it!
Just think if I had offered it up "at once." How much more beneficial my puny suffering would have been.
What else am I holding back on? What else is God asking of me that I am putting off doing at once?
These are questions I will be asking in the days leading up to Lent.
I think I've figured out what God wants me working on for those 40 days, so that by Easter, I will really begin to be good at "at once."