Junk In My Trunk

It's that time of year; we are at "our cottage".  Our and cottage in quotes because it is neither ours (it's a rental) nor is it a cottage (more accurately a 3 story house with 7 bedrooms.)

At the cottage there is a dumpster for trash from the community.  It's a little bit down the road and on my way to morning Mass. This morning I put the trash into my truck to drop off on my way.  When I got to Mass, I realized the junk was still in the vehicle with me.  Thankfully, not smelly! 

It got me thinking, as quiet time is wont to do, about junk in the trunk, not only of my truck, but in my soul. 

What kind of junk (sin) do I haul around with me?  Thankfully, not as much as I used to, but unfortunately not as little as I'd like. 

If we are honest with ourselves, we all have junk in our trunks.  

Selfishness

Unforgiveness

Gossip

Lack of faith

Pride

Lack of contrition 

Lust

Envy

Jealousy

Lies

The list could stretch for miles.  We all carry baggage.  We don't need to, you know.  

Our Lord, after His resurrection and prior to His ascension into heaven, left us the beautiful Sacrament of Reconciliation.  

You can find all kinds of teaching online and from others who say that confession to a priest is not what Jesus meant when he breathed on the Apostles and told them, "Receive the Holy Spirit, whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, whose sins you retain are retained"(John 20:22-23).  The Apostles understood and thus we have had this Sacrament since the very beginning of Christianity. 

If it has been a long time since your last confession (or maybe you just feel the need) here is a helpful site: Fr. Ben  Click on the link and when you get to the site, click on confession.  Fr. Ben has a wonderful aid to life confession.  Any priest should do this for you, but you may have to call and make an appointment because it will take a little longer than if you have been going regularly.

Jesus said, "there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance."  Luke 15:7

Come Saturday, I will give heaven a little more joy and release from myself some more junk from my trunk.  Join me? 

                                                                                      

Also, please remember to keep praying for Megan #amillionformegan

www.thatslife.blogspot.com

The Slow Erasure

They start off in many different ways; being born in the same family, a blind date, a dance class, meeting at the party of a mutual friend, sitting at the park watching the kids play.

They grow in different ways; from not liking one another at all to becoming friends, or liking each other immediately. 

Often they begin anew in marriage.   

Relationships.  

Relationships are one thing we all have in common.  Each of us are involved in many relationships.  How is it that some last, and some slip away?

The relationships that last are the ones that have the most time and energy put into them.  Life is busy and we have to make time for each other.  We can't let busy keep us from pouring ourselves into relationships that we want to endure.

If miles separate you from your friends, write letters.  Real letters that require envelopes and postage.

Sometimes it is harder to stay close when miles don't separate friends. We figure we can get together whenever, and fail to make it happen.  This is a small form of the slow erasure. 

Marriage is a unique relationship wherein two become one flesh.  It takes a miracle and a lot of hard work and sacrifice to make this covenantal relationship work. 

Often the marriage we envision for ourselves is based on what we see work, or not work, in our own parents' marriage.  We have examples of good marriages all around us.  

Unfortunately we also have examples of marriages that don't work out as planned.  What goes wrong? 

Couples that seem to be so in love find the struggle too hard.

It likely starts with a hurt.

Great book (not just for kids)

Small hurts or big hurts that grows bigger until they takes over our thoughts and won't allow us to see the person we once were madly in love with, as lovable any longer. Our thoughts grow dark and then small faults become glaring faults. Traits that used to be brushed away now nag at us and cause turmoil.

And then begins the slow erasure.

 What is the slow erasure? 

• Making decisions based on what one person wants over the feelings and concerns expressed by the other.
• Forgetting to speak kindly about the other.  Finding only the faults. 
• Taking on activities that do not include the other but rather require much time apart. 
• Deciding not to pray together anymore.
• Leaving God, and sacrifice for the sake of the other, out of the relationship. 
• Deciding that saying "I love you" is too hard and living it even harder.
• Not holding hands anymore.
• Not laughing together. 

So many things drive relationships apart.  Often couples get to a point where there is no longer a we, but only a me.  The other has been erased from "us". 

How do we make sure this does not happen?  Just as there are many ways to erase, there are many ways to more securely bond:

• Be willing to sacrifice that which is important to you if it causes too much time apart, or causes concerns or hurt feelings in the other.
• As learned in kindergarten, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything.  Better yet, find something nice to say.  It keeps you in practice. 
• Do stuff together.  Go to Mass, Adoration and confession together, clean the house, wash the dishes, cook, read, shop, go for a walk. 
• Pray together every day.  God is waiting to hear from both of you. 
• Make God central.  Pray about all major decisions, together; minor ones too. Pray for your spouse.  Every day ask what specific thing he or she needs you to pray for that day.
• Say I love you and show it.  It's hard sometimes but so worth it to show the I love you.
• Be willing to forgive: 70 x 7 times.  More if necessary. 
• Sit next to each other at meals.  (Easier to hold hands!) 
• HOLD HANDS!  Skin is very healing. God put all those nerve endings there for a reason. Sometimes when words won't come, a little hand holding will open up blocked communication.
• Laugh together often.  Look up a comedian to watch, or watch your children play. Laughter breaks down walls. 

If you need counseling,  GO!  Alone or together GO! Find a counselor that shares your beliefs.  One who will help you fight for the covenant, not one that will make it easy for you to abandon it.

When the going gets tough, don't cave in to what is "easy".  Dig in to that which will save your relationship.  Prayer, sacrifice, prayer, time together, prayer, kindness, prayer, counseling, prayer, forgiveness and most of all, prayer. Do whatever it takes to make your I DO last a life time.

33 years and counting.

On My Mind and My Prayer List

Liz and Jim close on their first home today.  Babysitting will be so much easier and grand baby will be right down the street!  Happy grammy!

Caity and Jimmy are settling in their new home, 2 miles away.  Happy momma.   Caity still having terrible, long migraines.

Erin almost done with her nutrition internship and will need a job in her field soon.

Joshy is coming home this weekend!!  HOOT HOOT!! He needs a job as well and a base to his liking. He is hoping to be much closer to home (Maryland or Ohio).

Amanda will be home at the end of the month for 2 weeks!!  HOOT HOOT!! (It's a family thing!)  By then, she will be done with her cadaver dissection and she is ready for that.

Michael needs a car and a job!

Joey needs a driver's license, a car and a job!!!!!!

Hannah wants a job.

What to do about Claire and school in the Fall.

Wayne and his business.

For our marriage.

Dad...

Mom...

Megan--for strength in the face of new challenges, courage to combat the enemy-cancer, and HEALING.  John, Michele and Meg's sisters who are all fighting the fight with her.

Me (who I regularly forget to pray for) for my shoulder to stop hurting.  And whatever else God wants for me to do for Him, that He make it plain for me to see.

The election.  Sigh.

An end to abortion.

For cousins who long for a baby to love.

For our priests who help keep us headed in the right direction.

For the folks I see at daily Mass who are aging, ailing and dying.  For the young people at daily Mass who are starting their day with the Lord. So refreshing to see high school and college "kids" at 6:30 a.m. Mass.

For all those I have promised to pray for!

Reminder:  praymorenovenas.com   Novena to St. Maria Goretti (child Saint whose story you need to know) starts today!! St. Maria, pray for us.

Nine Days That Will Change You

A novena is nine days of prayer for a particular intention.

The very first novena occurred between Jesus' ascension into heaven and the coming of the Holy Spirit on Pentecost.  After Jesus ascended into heaven, the disciples "returned to Jerusalem…went to the upper room…[and] devoted themselves to prayer."  (Acts 1:12-14) Nine days later was Pentecost.

Those nine days of prayer not only prepared them for the coming of the Holy Spirit, it prepared the disciples to carry out God's will for them.

When we enter into prayer, our goal should be to do the will of God not to have God bow to our will.  Yes, we come with our own petitions and how we would like our prayers to be answered, but we have to understand that God knows what we need far better than we do and He will only do for us that which will draw us closer to Him (if we let it) and that which is He knows is best for us.

I will tell you from experience, novenas work!  I have prayed novenas since I was a child.  Do I always get what I ask for?  If I unite my will to God's than yes.

Does it always look the way I think it should or hoped it would?  No.

Does it always turn out the way it should? Yes, because, again--God's will.

Are my prayers always answered immediately? No.  The key is to trust and not give up the prayers.

There are LOTS of novena prayers out there.

One must understand that to pray a novena you are asking the Saint to whom you are directing the prayer to intercede for you, not to answer your prayer.  They pray with and for you;  God does the answering.

A  novena to  St. Therese of Lisieux will almost always yield roses for you.  You can even specify a color and she will come through. (When my sister was ready to conceive her first child I prayed specifically for blue roses.  Boy did I see blue roses-in winter!  They were grave blankets but they were blue roses!  She had a baby boy the next summer!!!)

A novena to St. Jude is said for intentions that seem impossible.

Novenas to St. Gerard are said for conception, a healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery.  Nine out of 11 of these novenas were answered with a "yes" for us.

I don't know if there is a novena to St. Anthony of Padua because lost things are found pretty quickly when you ask him to intercede for you.

Many single people have turned to St. Anne and St. Joseph when they are ready to find their spouse.

Google can help you find any number of novenas.  I typed in-novena for- and the first four options were cancer, anxiety, marriage and healing.  Look up your specific request and find a new Saint friend.

If you already pray novenas and would like to pray more of them, here's the site for you: www.praymorenovenas.com  If you sign up you will get novenas sent to your email several times a year.  You will have the prayer power of over 200,000 other people praying with you for your intentions and they will have you praying for them.

The couple who started the site found each other after each had done a novena to find a spouse.

Give a novena a try.  We all have something on our heart that requires intense prayer.  Invite the Saints to intercede for you.